You think there is something wrong with you, when you start to build with rage. They tell you,”Stop it now, sit down, and behave.”
Well now, my dear. I have been silent, silent for far too long. Buried my emotions six thousand feet to the sarcophagus under ground. Buried so deep, to the point of going numb. So numb that I have a hard time how to even react anyway.
So when you reconnect, after many of on and off years of shutting down from pain. You bet your fucking ass that I am angry. Angry at myself for letting me get this way, angry for shutting down instead of processing in a proper way. Angry to the point that it’s seeping out of the shadows that it wants to release the beast within.
Yet with anger, comes floods of other emotions, one in particular which is sorrow.
Sorrow for the the loss of the ability to mourn, especially in the case of death. Though now I express freely of my sorrow for almost losing that passion that which my spirit longs for. To allow tears to flow freely which comes in waves like a hurricane ready to invade.
From sorrow to lust, a high appetite that I often suppress.
When you’re constantly told you’re worthless once you lose your innocence. More so when you have the ability to carry the consequences of your actions. To be told it’s wrong when it’s meant to be enjoyed as nature intended to be, when instead it’s used as a holding card of power instead of a healing pathway to the higher beings.
Yet in lust comes envy, the green eyed bitch pokes its head.
Envious of those who live in bliss instead of being aware of the pain of the world we live in. Envy those who have what you desire, for you can be influenced with greed to want more than what you have. Of course, then you express empathy and smile over the blessings you have been bestowed with.
Shake off the envy, transfer to the expression of joy.
Joy and thankfulness of your blessings you have and of those yet to come. Joy that you wake up everyday knowing your purpose and to see the smile on your little one’s face. Joy to seeing those you care for constantly change and grow to greater heights. Joy that you have the ability to do what makes you happy.
Express your joy to gain clarity.
To clear your mind and be aware that you have turned a blind eye to your soul’s purpose and path to the divine. Clear to see what really lies ahead, to reconnect with your intuition and your ability to be in between.
Now it’s clear to see you have always had the ability to love.
Love fierce to great heights and from an unconditional source. Love with no fear, opening your heart to wear on your sleeve. To push those you care for and teach them to embrace their destiny.
It’s just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg.
The path of healing that is often required, to freely express those emotions you have caged for so long. For it is only human, to have the ability to feel this way. It just as nature intended, to have this reclaim of inner power. To be reborn of the ashes that almost burned you alive.
You have had the ability all along.